If one or more of these is true, unfortunately, you are driving a Ford...

You look in your rear-view mirror to see two people with their hands on your tailgate.

You constantly receive sympathy cards from the Department of Transportation.

When you are walking across the parking lot, you see a priest performing last rights on your car.

While stopped at traffic lights, other motorists offer to help push to get you started again.

You have preferred customer status at Repco Auto Parts.
You have to stop along side the road at least once a day to pick up parts that have fallen off.

You leave your keys in the ignition and a $20 bill on the dash for gas money in hopes that someone will steal your car.

When you drive though town, people stop what they are doing and just start laughing.

People try to hire you to bring your truck to their house to fog for mosquitos.

In place of a spare tire, you find a pair of running shoes.